Sooo I just took some candy canes that have been sitting outside someone’s door for the past couple days. And now I have all these hidden fears like:

-did the green stuffed bear/frog holding the candy canes have a secret hidden camera in its eyes?
-did the person that saw me right after I grabbed the candy canes see me take the candy canes?
-did said person notice the candy canes in my hand poking out from under  my pizza box?
-is said person friends and/or bathmates with the person I took the candy canes from
-are the RAs going to come in at room check asking if we know what happened to the missing candy canes that were in front of the girl’s door
-is she going to replace and the candy canes?
-and if she does, will I be tempted to take them again?

I don’t know man, I just don’t know. Clearly, I need to study. 

And I’ll never forget Dawn’s reaction Lmaoooo!

It’s so true when people say that as soon as you decide to make a commitment to God the devil tries to get you. It’s happening! And it doesn’t even have to be in some dramatic life altering way. He is clever. He knows what he’s doing. He’s getting me in my lack of motivation. My laziness. And it’s working. I don’t feel motivated to spend time with God as sad as that sounds. And I keep telling myself oh I’ll do it tomorrow, I’ll do it tomorrow.

I never do. And even as I’m writing this I’m telling myself that I’ll take the time out tomorrow as well. But I keep putting it off. Sigh sigh sigh.  

I want to spend time with God though. I’ve sort of drifted away from it ever since I got baptized. Of course I still believe in the things I did when that happened (about a month ago) I just kinda “expected” things to work out from there but that’s not how it works. Haha noooo..it’s an every day thing that does take effort. I mean, I am after all getting to know someone, and establishing a relationship with someone takes time and effort. I’ve been slacking the past month and I’d like that to end. Right now. 

I want to get back to where I was even before I got baptized. Back at square one in a way, but that happens sometimes. I can’t just sit back and expect things to happen for me. I have to be willing to put forth the effort. And it is definitely worth it! 

And with this school year oh man I gotta make some changes. Gotta make some changes. I cannot let my laziness take over me anymore. I just can’t. Like..I don’t know how I’ve let this happen but it’s gotta stop.

I’m ready for a change. Ready to continue with my relationship with God. Ready to see where life is gonna take me. I’m ready for all of it.